Why Bother?

Lately I have been hit with many realizations about friendships, and the development and maintenance of those friendships.  As you all know by now my life has been on an interesting new course.  I have so many wonderful friends in my life.  There are those wonderful friends who have been a part of my life for many years and those who have been in my life for only days as I type this.  I value of my friendships greatly and treasure each friend more than silver or gold.  That is why it is so difficult to control my emotions when a friendship ends, or when a “friend” cuts deep through hurtful actions.  Sometimes I am quick to react (My BFF reminds me of this regularly) to pains caused by friends, and my immediate reaction is to cut them from my life.  I then mope around for days “mourning” the “loss”.  The loss of friendship is something that causes me great heartache because I blame myself for each ending.  I seem to be a master at cultivating and growing new friendships in my new life, but maintaining those friendships seems to be a bit more challenging. 

Occasionally I go through the phase when I wonder “Why bother” building and maintaining friendships.  I go through times when I go over my facebook friend list and “purge”.  I do this because there are times when certain people, who are mere acquaintances need not know all about me and my life, or they begin to use my posts as fodder for their gossip mills.  These people are easy to cut loose.  However; there are occasions when I “cut” a true friend because of some hurtful circumstance that has caused a wound to fester, and my gut reaction is to just leave them behind and move on instead of trying to save the relationship.  I have done this a lot lately.  In doing so, I have created more of a wound than was originally there and have lost those friends forever. 

I have been fortunate lately in salvaging some important friendships, resurrecting meaningful relationships, and healing the hurt that existed.  I am learning to slow down and react less harshly, but it is taking time for me to do this in every situation.  It is difficult for me to admit I have overreacted to a situation, or to determine the best course of action when attempting to resolve issues. 

There are those in my life whom I do not yet understand their purpose, and there are others whose purposes seem clear but ever changing.  As these friendships grow and change, so do the ways in which I react to hurtful actions, harsh words, and painful misunderstandings.  I am hopeful that I can act less quickly.  Instead I hope to take each situation and let it sit for a period of time before coming back and addressing it.  This way then, maybe, I will be able to hold onto my dearest friends more closely, salvage the lost friendships more readily, and maintain the new friendships with genuine care.

So to answer the question . . . “Why bother?”  I bother because I love my friends, new and old, for all that they bring to my life.  I mourn when one leaves me, and I celebrate when they return. I bother because without the bonds of friendship life is not as wonderfully enriching.  Without friendship we are hollow shells of human flesh just starving for all that friends can add to our lives.

Friendships are true blessings and “True Friends are the greatest of all blessings”!

LOVES