I AM GOING TO HELL??

In recent days I have been reminded that, while I have the most amazingly supportive and understanding family and friends, I do have those family members and friends who are far less supportive and understanding of MY life.  I knew when I “came out” there would be those who would shun me, turn their backs on our past, criticize my true being, ridicule me, and judge me for who I am.  As I stated in earlier postings, I was amazed that this was not entirely the case.  I found that I had for more support than I could imagine.  I consider myself to be an intelligent person, and I have been waiting on the day that “the other shoe would fall”, so to speak, and it appears that it is on the way down.  Two recent events have awakened me from my “fantasy” belief that MY LIFE is grand. 

I recently felt the pangs of  harsh reality when I felt some of my closest “supporters” turning their back on me.  I guess what makes this pain more heart wrenching is that it came unexpectedly and from one person I never thought would cut me so deeply.  I would never have expected this person to pack up and run away from me in the way they did.  To do this all because of who I am and what my life is during a time of greatest joy for me, was the bite that stung so badly.  To know that this person chose the closed minded bigoted way out makes the wound less likely to heal.  I trusted this person with my life, have always had their back (as I thought they had mine), and now I mourn the loss of one I am not sure I can ever get back.  It may not have been entirely their choice to leave, but that I was so quickly and harshly discarded because they were unwilling to stand up for me makes it seem less likely that our lives will ever be as close as they once were.  There was a strong bond in our relationship that has been severely severed, and there are no immediate signs of its repair.  I try to understand why this person would tuck tail and run, as they have never been that type of person, but I cannot find good reason for the destruction of such a bond.  I ache for the rebuilding of this relationship, so I hope it is true that “time heals all wounds”.  I miss you and the way you have always been there for me.  I hope one day we can get back even a small part of what we had for so long.

The most recent event came through some criticisms on one of our most widely used social networks.  After copying and posting a status from a friend regarding the government’s attempts to control “marriage” and the lack of equal rights that still exists, I became the “pariah” condemned to HELL for being ME.  Let me assure you, I do NOT believe that I am going to hell for being a homosexual man.  Just because I am in love with another man does not give enough grounds for these “true believers” to cast their on judgments on me.  The post I copied and pasted was as follows:

“So, let's get this straight: Charlie Sheen can make a "Porn Family", Kelsey Grammer can end a 15-year marriage over the phone, Larry King can be on his 9th divorce, Britney Spears can have a 55-hour marriage, and Jesse James & Tiger Woods, while married, can have sex with EVERYONE, yet, the idea of same-sex marriage is going to destroy the institution of marriage? Really? Re-post this if you support Equal Rights.”

The onslaught of attacks and judgments was unexpected.  I know, I should have expected these to come from such a post, but not in the way they did.  A long lost “friend” decided to take this posted status, and use it as an opportunity to inject their own judgmental attitude in a way that sparked a firestorm of activity.  This firestorm did not limit itself to just comments on the originally posted status, but it spread across the network in other reposts, and in some other judgmental statuses.  I did not intend for the post to become a religious debate.  I posted it because I am a homosexual man who believes in equal rights for ALL.  Our forefathers set out to establish a land where all people are treated equally, without discrimination, without undue judgment, and without prejudice.  Our very own Declaration of Independence states

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

I have my LIFE, I feel my LIBERTY, and I am enjoying MY HAPPINESS! I however do not feel the meaning of “created equal”. To those who continue to stand in judgment I have a list of questions for you.  I take these from a letter off the internet and repost them here with full credit to the author.  I feel it is necessary to look at full context of life, not just full context of the bible that we ALL believe in, but the full context of the time period, the evolving of life, and the TRUE meaning of GOD’s plan.  The GOD I believe in, worship, confess my love for, and receive my salvation from, is not a GOD who condemns people to HELL for who they LOVE.  If this were the case, and every thing in the bible were interpreted truly out of context today, some of these questions would be answered by condemning large numbers of the masses right along side me and my husband.

The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura Schlessinger which was posted on the internet... by J. Kent Ashcraft in May 2000

“Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.”

I am amazed at how the professed believers like to twist the WORD OF GOD to suit their own life and beliefs to stand in judgment of others, but they do not dare translate THE WORD to judge themselves. If they did, as indicated above from Leviticus and Exodus, they would know that they too will be headed to Hell.  Next thing you know there will be a campaign to discount Leviticus and Exodus to better suit their claims of judgment of others.  I, myself, truly believe that the GOD I serve is an awesome and understanding GOD who has evolved right along with mankind as he is the one who created and will be the one to bring us ALL home on that final day.

MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL, friend and foe alike.  I can not wait for the day when I stand before the father and proclaim that which I know to be true today, that he is the reason I am who I am and I have loved him from the beginning of my life to the end. 

I leave you with this:

Mark 12:28-34 (NIV)

²⁸ One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?" ²⁹ "The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. ³⁰ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' ³¹ The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." ³² "Well said, teacher," the man replied. "You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but him. ³³ To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices." ³⁴ When Jesus saw that he had answered wisely, he said to him, "You are not far from the kingdom of God." And from then on no one dared ask him any more questions.