Because of Days Like This

Ever have one of those days?  You know, the kind where anything that could go wrong does, and you think things can not possible get any worse yet they do.  Well, I have come to realize that days like this are the norm for me, and if I wait long enough something will happen to turn it around.  I have had those days where things have gone rough at work.  Frustrated parents, misbehaving students, stressed friends, pained family members, and strained relationships all seem to come pouring into my life at once.  I begin to feel the strain and stress of trying to fix everything for everyone. 

As I go through the day, I work to calm the angered parent.  I make every attempt to assure them than the problem that they see is more of a mole hill than a mountain.  I explain the situation from the teacher perspective, and allow the parent time to digest the information.  As that fire is put out, and the parent moves on to the rest of their day, I move forward with the next hurdle in the way.

The students will misbehave all day this day.  Nothing that is said will calm them down.  No amount of threatening or punishment will get them to discontinue their torrent of bickering, tattling, and tantrum throwing.  As the day moves on, the behaviors seem to fade only because I have become exhausted and block them out to work with those who are truly ready to learn.  As the sounds of misbehavior fade away, it is time to move forward to extinguish the next fire.

As the day winds down I focus on my friends and their upset feelings.  Everyone knows how much I value my friendships and my friends.  I take the struggles of my friends seriously and worry about each of them daily.  My worry for them tends to be more than my worry for myself on a regular basis.  No matter what their struggles or emotional strain, I always take their pain on as my own.  The stress this causes is intense, but I would not trade it for a single day of silence and calm.  As I work through the stresses of my friends I move on to the next issue of the day.

As I look to my family, I see the pain and upset of their day and take it on myself to see what I can do to take it away.  Be it through intense prayer, messages of caring, or an offhanded joke to cause a chuckle, I work to see the smile on their face because any other look breaks my heart.  I hurt more when my family hurts than if I had been shot through the heart with a rusty arrow.  My family is more important to me than anything else and when there is pain and upset in the family, I want nothing more than to take that pain away.  As I finish tending to the family needs I move my concerns to yet another fire in need of extinguishing.

The strained relationships in my life tend to take a backseat until it appears to be too late for salvage.  I have a bad habit of taking things personally when communication breaks down.  I put blame on myself when things get rough and relationships suffer from strain.  I have some very close friends (and former friends) who I cannot seem to understand.  When there is an apparent meltdown in communication, it seems that I am the one who causes a gap in my failing attempts to put the broken pieces back together.  These friends appear angry and I assume that I have offended them.  By the time I realize what has truly happened, it is sometimes too late to restore.  I have lost some very close friends lately due to these lapses in judgment and the errors in communication.  Some friends who I thought would never go away, have vanished from my life.  The old me would have sat and cried over the demise of these relationships, but the new me accepts them as closed doors that will lead to open windows.  As I come to this realization, I am finally ready to move on to the last fire and take care of myself. 

When the part of the day arrives when I can take care of ME, I usually feel exhausted.  However, there are those days when, after all the trials and tribulations have passed, something grand comes along and makes it all seem so minor and trivial.  A huge success, a great visit from a trusted confident, a positive life changing event, or a new path on the journey of life can wash away all the charred remains of the extinguished fires.  As the days pitfalls vanish into the past, the next chapter becomes more clearly visible, and is so worth moving into.  These are the days that let me know I am going to be ok.  I know, when I am having a down or emotionally exhausting day, it just takes some patience waiting on the next great day. It is because of days like these that the other days are bearable.  It is because of days like this, that I choose to continue living my life just the way I am.