NEXT TIME?

How often do we hear the words, "Next time I..."?  When you hear those words from certain people under certain circumstances, you want to believe them to be true.  In the past few months I have heard these words many times from people I love and trust, only to find these words fall short of being honest.  These statements come from loved ones, family, and friends who are all well intentioned, but who tend to make promises they know they can't (or won't) keep.

During my hospital stay I heard over and over how things were going to be different, "Next time there is a family gathering, I will be more supportive, and see that we are all a "FAMILY".  I have been the "black sheep" my whole life, and I knew these statements were not going to develop into anything more than just the typical hollow words they were.  I knew coming home after 37 days in the hospital everything would once again have conditions.  However, I tried to believe things were going to be different, and there would be "family" gatherings where "everyone" would be in attendance and accepted.  NO, this is not the case,  I have been home since April 11, and I have yet to see anything resembling any changes that were mentioned while I was hospitalized.  I tell myself daily that maybe I was so medicated that I was hearing things in a hopeful way and they were never really said.

From there we have the words of friends.  The ones who say, "next time I am free we will get together and make up for lost time" or "next time we go there we will do this".  I hear these words and I have to think to myself, are they being sincere and honest or do they just think they are saying what I need to hear.  I have been burned and hurt too many times to hold on to these words as true.  I know they may think they will follow through, but they won't.  They may want to do this or that.with me, but they always seem to find something or someone better. 

I don't want to sound whiny, but I am hurt that people think they earn a pass when they say, "next time".  I don't want to hear "next time" any more, because I no longer believe those who say it.  I no longer trust that there will be a "next time" just because someone says there will be.  Promise people whatever it is you want to do, commit to events to prolong relationships, instead of making false statements that you know you will not be able to follow through with even if you want to. 

Life is full of unexpected happenings that can change plans, so don't say "next time".  Try this instead, "I promise we will do this if time and circumstances allow.  I want to do this, but I can not make definite arrangements into the future."  This will make it easier to handle when plans fall through, and it will be a more honest statement than saying, "next time".