RIDING ROLLER COASTERS

To say my life has been up and down lately would be slightly inaccurate.  My life has been more like a daily roller coaster ride.  You know that feeling of excitement and anticipation as you ride along approaching the climb, the way your heart beats with the thrill of prediction for what lies ahead.  I have felt that way many times in the past few months.  I have anticipated the excitement of true love and all that it offers.  I have watched with anxious thoughts as the climb approached each day.  Awaiting for the unknown has always been difficult for me, and this ride of life is no different.

As the climb began and the hill seemed to steep to ride, I started to fear the unknown fall as the roller coaster progressed.  Somewhere during this stage of the ride of life, I became content to stay stalled on the climb and the comfort of being in love started to cause major complications for the journey ahead.  I became comfortable in every aspect of my life and never realized I was losing the most important parts of myself.  Once I finally realized what was happening, I feared it was too late, and rushed to catch up on the ride.

The downward spiral that lie ahead was the most excruciating and painful part of the ride.  As the anxiety of losing it all built and the climb came to a halt, I saw the downward spiral and had no way of knowing how to keep myself from crashing.  I became an emotional wreck.  I tried crying, screaming, and fighting for everything I believed in. none of it seems to have worked.  The descending ride became the roughest of my life, and I continue to wait for the final safe ride back to the station.  I hope and pray each day for the ride to end as it began, with true love and partnership to last forever.  As I ride life's roller coaster, I fear each day that I will stall on the climb, and crash on the descending ride.

Roller coasters are fun entertainment, until the roller coaster of life catches you off guard and you have to struggle to stay on board.  Love is definitely like this for me these days, as I try to figure out each day's ride and how to hold on so that nothing is lost.  I try to hold onto everything and everyone important to me and sometimes this pushes things further from my grasp.  I truly believe in the power of love and hope the roller coaster will slow down just enough to allow me to keep it alive.