IT IS TIME!

It Is Time!

It is time to clarify, explain, initiate, and motivate.  This election cycle has brought about hate, fear, violence, volatility, racism, discrimination, uncertainty, and disrespect.  This is not different than most elections, except this one has brought about an inferred permission to degrade and belittle.  Name calling, protests, marches, and violence have been evident on all sides of this monumental event.  From celebratory gloating and fear filled protests to political divides and angry marches this has become an insane reality we are now living in.  I have stayed out of much conversation on social media in the days since the election, other than my post displaying the hate that was directed at my family.  Today, after reading rants from both sides, overhearing conversations at breakfast, and seeing uncertainty from all corners I have decided to write.  It is time for my friends, family, colleagues, and fellow Americans to stop and think for a moment and prepare to move forward into the new day.

First, I wish to CLARIFY a few things.  Yes, I am angered at the outcome of this election.  Yes, I am fearful of what this new day brings.  However, I have hope that those who truly care about the "bigger picture" will ride up and lead us out of the uncertainty and the challenges that lie ahead.  Have I "unfriended" people from social media during this election cycle?  Most definitely, I have.  These were not due to the election outcome or the person being supported.  No, I have deleted acquaintances, "friends", and even family not for their stance on the election, but for the shear ignorance in their manner of approach and presentation of their support and/or celebration.  I have also deleted some from the same side as myself for the similar ways in which they have chosen to "protest".

Next, let me, in simplest terms, EXPLAIN my feelings of anger and fear.  It has taken me a few days to understand these feelings myself.  At first I felt anger toward those who voted against my opinions and beliefs and feared that the outcome of a Trump presidency would destroy a life I have worked hard to build and maintain as a gay man.  Today, I understand my anger comes from reading and listening to ignorance.  Those who spout and spew hate in the light of this election because that is what is truly in their hearts.  My anger is based in my lack of ability to tolerate and accept this type of rhetoric from anyone.  Hate based through ignorance is a dangerous form of hate.  This type of hate leads to unrest and destruction.  That is where my anger comes from.  I am angry at the ignorance on all sides who use their ignorance as a vehicle of discrimination and destruction.  Once I realized the root of my anger, I began to understand my fear more easily.  I'm not afraid that the government is going to take away my rights to live my life.  I'm not afraid that gay marriage will suffer a set back, although it may for a brief period.  No, my fear isn't in those who have been elected.  My fear comes from the same source as my anger.  I fear the ignorance that is running rampant in the days since the votes, most of them, have been tabulated and a "winner" declared.  I fear that those who practice hate, discrimination, and racism will use this election and a means of approval for their actions.  I fear that the recent note in our home mailbox (which has been reported to the FBI and is under investigation) is only the beginning of an intensified hate toward the LGBT community and other "non-white" minorities.  As an educator, I fear the uneasy feelings of the children in my classroom, because they are frightened by the discrimination and violence in the media.  Yes, these are the fears I have.  So when you post your elitist dominant white "questions" on social media asking what we fear.  Think about what you fear losing most and how people may ignorantly blame you for being out of the societal "norm".  Think about any fears you may have if you were a minority member of society in our nation.

Click to view note in mailbox.

I have decided that the anger and fear that have begun to surge need to act to INITIATE change.  We all need to be the change we expect, without inciting violence and resorting to destruction.  We need to come together and support with pride and optimism whatever lies ahead.  We must take our anger and fear and redirect them into the positives we desire to see from out nation.  We must stop accusing our friends, family, and neighbors of voting one way or another to bring us down.  We must recognize the differences in opinion and fight together against ignorance and intolerance to build one another up instead of tearing one another down.  It is ignorance that all sides need to defeat.  We need to educate and arm one another with knowledge and compassion instead of directing anger and hate toward our fellow Americans.

It is time to MOTIVATE ourselves as individuals in order to begin to motivate the masses toward a peaceful and compassionate coexistence in our nation.  We ,just rise up from the ashes of anger and overcome the burdens of fear to initiate a change and motivate our brothers and sisters to rid our land of ignorance and show compassion and understanding through knowledge and peaceful end education.  We must redirect our angers, hostilities, fears, and intolerance into a peaceful and understanding means of what it truly is to be American.  We must love one another and respect our differences in order to embrace our similarities and reach a common ground.  We should all turn our fears and anger into change and hope for the future.

LOVES, Phil

Now What?

It has been a few months since I have sat down and written anything worth posting.  I write quite a bit, but I am either not satisfied with the end result or I cant justify a reason to post.  I write about my ups, my downs, my hopes, my dreams, my insecurities, my flaws, my happiness, and my confusions.  I just don't know what to publish once they are completed, because I find myself questioning their value, or the effect they may have on individual readers.  Because my writings are so personal, I often fear I will upset or hurt someone by what I have written.  So I ask myself, "Now what?"  What do i do with the endless list of topic ideas, the unpublished posts, and the bottled up emotions I have secretly jotted down as topics in my draft folder?

Now what?  Well, I have decided to hold myself accountable to those interested in what I write, what I feel, or what I have to say.  To do this I have decided to reveal my folder of rambling unpublished drafts and my constant jumble of emotions.  Now what?

Here is the list of unpublished "drafts".  Some have been "finished", others only need editing, while a few are in the beginning stages of writing.

• What is the value of LOVE?

• February=Love, Companionship,and Broken Hearts?

• Who is THE ONE?

• I Want To See Me Be Brave.

• Was that a proposal?

• SOME DAY I WILL MARRY?

• When She Came Along.

I struggle daily with a jumble of emotions.  Having stared death in the face twice in 2014, I looked for 2015 to rebuild myself.  I have gone from the depression of near death and wishing it had just taken me to the exhilaration of being alive and looking forward to the future.  I have gone from being "in love" to struggling to know what love really is.  I dream of a future full of partnership and being "in love" again, only to fight the reality that love may just be the feeling of being comfortable in my own skin.  I am blessed to have the support of those closest to me, while imagining having the support of those I used to be close to.  My "roller coaster" of emotions leaves me drained and near tears at the end of most days.  I fall asleep waiting for dreams to revive my spirit and bring me back, yet I face the nightmares of drowning in the sea of tears left by rejection and the pain of not knowing where I stand or where I am going.  I know where I am, but where am I going?  I know I have my health back on track, but for how long?  I know I am loved, but by whom? I know Where I have been and what I have done, but. . .

FLAGS

So much has gone on these past few days.  With all the talk about what is right and what is wrong and decisions regarding flags and the lives of fellow Americans, I was moved to write this little piece today to sum up my thoughts.

FLAGS

Some may mock

Some may scorn
It's time we retire the battle torn
It's time to lay the hateful flag to rest

Some will stop

Some will rise above
Its time we choose the one of love
It's time to raise one that has passed the test

We should all stand proud

We should all stand free
We should honor the flag of equality
We should say our pledge the one that is the best

All praise to our USA as we celebrate equality today.   May we forever remember our heritages and celebrate our differences as we stand together under THE flag of the United States of America.  One people, one nation, one law for liberty and justice for ALL.

Philip D. Arnold, June 26, 2015

CELEBRATE EQUALITY? HARD TO DO IN INDIANA!

Yes, I am extremely happy to be standing on the right side of history today, but forgive me if my celebration is short lived.  While I am happy for my LGBT community and brothers and sisters in states that have passed marriage equality laws, I happen to reside in Indiana.  Indiana, where on the very day of SCOTUS rulings striking down DOMA and throwing out California's Prop 8, Governor Mike Pence released a statement praising SCOTUS.  He did not praise them for their votes "for" equality, but for their decision to uphold individial states' rights to determine their own course on the "issue" of marriage equality.

Governor Pence issued the following statement with regard to the United States

Supreme Court decisions in U.S. v. Windsor and Hollingsworth v. Perry.

 

“I believe marriage is the union between a man and a woman and is a unique institution worth defending in our state and nation. For thousands of years, marriage has served as the glue that holds families and societies together and so it should ever be.

 

While I am disappointed that the Supreme Court has overturned the federal Defense of Marriage Act, I am grateful that today's decisions respect the sovereignty of states on this important issue. These decisions preserve the duty and obligation of the states to define and administer marriage as they see fit.

 

Now that the Supreme Court has had its say on the federal government’s role in defining marriage, the people of Indiana should have their say about how marriage is understood and defined in our state.

 

Given that opportunity, I am confident that Hoosiers will reaffirm our commitment to traditional marriage and will consider this important question with civility and respect for the values and dignity of all of the people of our state.

 

I look forward to supporting efforts by members of the Indiana General Assembly to place a constitutional amendment on the ballot for voter consideration next year.”

 

He is "confident" that Hoosiers will "reaffirm our commitment to traditional marriage and will consider this important question with civility and respect for the values of all of the poeple of our state"?  Really,  how can you consider such an issue with "civility" and "respect" "of all the poeple of our our state" when this type of action will have a direct negative effect on a portion of "all the people of our state"?  OUR STATE Mr.  Governor.  Remember it is not just your state, sir.  I am a HOOSIER, born and raised, and I am GAY! This dies not make me any less a citizen of this state. I, and my LGBT brothers and sisters, deserve equal rights as provided by the United States Constitution! It is time!  I plan to continue to stand with my partner and work to see that the equality supported by the Supreme Court of the United States exists for every citizen in every state. 

 

I stand on the side of history that supports equal rights for ALL, not just the few and priviledged.  I stand on the side of history that supports LOVE and the right for all Americans to love a person, not a gender.  When you stand up for your rights because you are proud of who you are and you find love that you want to share "til death do you part", then you should be able to exercise the right to enter into marraige as you wish.  No government entity should be able to stifle the rights of any group based on the "religious" beliefs of the individual members who make up that entity.  Elected officials have a right to their constituency, but they also have a responsibity to uphold legal constitutional rights and the equal treatment of all under any laws they should enact.  I am proud to stand on the "right side" of history today, I just hope that I continue to stand on this side while residing in my home state in the future.

 

PLEASE, if you have any leaning toward making a statement on this issue, do it.  Contact legislators, write letters, sign petitions, make your voice heard, and show where you stand.  History is continuing to be made daily, what side will you be on when your time is through.  For my family, my friends, and my fellow Hoosiers I will continue to stand for equality and love for ALL!

 

 

SCOTUS EVE

On this eve of the final day of the SCOTUS (Supreme Court Of The United States) session, I am filled with cautious optimism and anxiety.  Not because I expect any wide sweeping rulings on behalf of equality, but because any step toward equality through rulings on these two cases is a positive step for equality for all.  California's Prop 8 and U.S. DOMA are both landmark cases for even being heard by the justices.  Now we await the 9 opinions that (at this time) matter most.  

The justices of the court will rule based on their "interpretations" of the US Constitution and the constitutionality of the cases before them.  The LGBT community knows what we hope to see from the justices, and we might even have a pretty accurate prediction of what the outcome will be.  However; to say our fate lies in the hands of these 9 justices, is not accurate.  It fate lies in the determination we have as a community to stand up for one another and continue to push the envelope until equality is something text books define as the "equal treatment of ALL citizens despite any difference in creed, race, religion, or orientation.  



 12 year old son shared on his Instagram 

 

As we await the "rulings" from SCOTUS, let us join together all LGBT allies, and pledged to continue to stand for equality for all.  Many in the LGBT community have asked continually for supporters to "turn it red" by changing social media profile pictures and posting photos of support.  That is a great way to show support and "unity", but where are our "straight allies"?  Where do they stand in this historical time in history?  Unity means that we stand together with our lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and straight brothers and sisters.  We can be the change we want to see in the world, if we stand TOGETHER to make the change happen.



No, tomorrow may not be the outcome we hope for, but this battle has changed public opinion and increased support for equality for all.  We must not celebrate too much or cry to loudly once the rulings are handed down tomorrow morning. We must instead continue to rise up and rise above.  We must continue to be who we are, love who we choose, and be faithful to the cause of equality for everyone, not just our LGBT community, our particular race, or our chosen religion.  We must stand on the right side of history when the final tide turns and we are all determined to be equal, not only in vision, but also through law! 


"And a certificate on paper

Isn't gonna solve it all

But it's a damn good place to start

No law's gonna change us

We have to change us

Whatever god you believe in

We come from the same one

Strip away the fear

Underneath it's all the same love

About time that we raised up"

from MACKLEMORE & RYAN LEWIS - SAME LOVE 

SAME LOVE VIDEO

TRAGEDY AND THE EXTERMIST RESPONSE

I AM DONE!!  Really, today our country suffered yet another grave tragedy and loss of life and I have to get on here and read the hypocritical bigoted posts from those who want to use this disaster as a means of promoting their severely warped sense of religion.  An eight year old child and two adults were killed in this horrendous event, while countless others have suffered serious and critical injuries.  Instead of just calling for prayer for those affected by the events of the day, the religious extreme has decided to blame everything from "GOD needs to be out back in schools" to "GOD sent the Boston Marathon Bombs to punish Massachusetts for passing the sin of same-sex marriage".  Are these nut jobs serious with this holier than thou hypocrisy?  Do they genuinely believe that GOD would kill an innocent child because the state passed CIVIL legislation regarding same-sex marriage?  This tragedy is another in a long line of tragedies affecting our country, and the crazies have once again proven that they will leave nothing to pass without finding a way to lay "blame" on innocent people. 

Can you seriously support your stance that "if GOD were in our schools" we would not be suffering widespread attacks on our schools?  I think your rationale is flawed. 

The GOD I serve, my lord and savior Jesus Christ said, "Let the children come to me" Matthew 19:14. 

Nowhere in the Bible does it say, "I will punish young innocent children when the church decided to judge others".  Can you show me where, in your warped translation of the Bible, it states that children will pay for the sins of their parents? 

Ezekiel 18:20 says, "The one who sins is the one who will die. The child will not share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the child. The righteousness of the righteous will be credited to them, and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against them."

How dare we allow such tragedies to be made more severe by the constant barrage of the "blame game" of these warped religious extremists.  I am a school teacher, I teach second graders who are 8 years old.  I pray every day, after we recite the Pledge of Allegiance and our school creed, during our daily moment of silence.  GOD is in school.  As long as we have breath in our lungs, prayer will be uttered in our classrooms, and GOD will be ever present within the doors of our educational institutions. 

It is time for our country's citizens to stop looking for someone some belief to blame for tragic events.  It is time we lean on GOD in prayer, and seek the truth through legal means to find the perpetrators of such events and bring them to legal justice.  It is not our place to persecute for the Lord.  GOD will judge all in the final days and then the job will be done. 

 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged." Matthew 7:1

Until that time, we must return to loving one another, as commanded, and stop judging our fellow man in order to turn and blame their indiscretions for our nation's tragedies.

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35

WHAT IS EQUALITY?

Let me start by saying how amazingly blessed I feel to have such amazingly supportive and accepting friends and family.  I have become an activist of sorts over the past few years, but those who know me know that I advocate for PUBLIC education in most of my "spare" time.  Occaisionally, I share an LGPT rights post or an equality support post.  Well, today has been a different day.  With the Supreme Court of the United States hearing oral arguments on two key cases this week, it became real to me that equality is not only "on trial", but that it is also gaining support. 

What is equality?  It is something different to everyone, but it should mean equal treatment for everyone.  Today, equality means equal rights and protection under the law.  With the Supreme Court taking up the cases of Proposition 8 and DOMA, it has become apparent that equality for all could be one step closer or it could be set back for a bit longer.  Equality is coming! It is just a matter of time before all Americans will be able to marry the person they love despite gender, race, creed, or religion.  The US Supreme Court could decide this summer to declare laws descriminating based on gender to be unconstitutional. 

As the Supreme Court prepared to hear oral arguments today and tomorrow, supporters of marriage equality began to turn social media pages RED for equality.  As I changed my "profile" picture to the newly reddened equality symbol, I witnessed something amazing.  As friends, family, and friends of friends started to change their own "profile" and "cover" photos, tears began to stream down my face.  Recognizing the amount of support and acceptance from my "small town" friends, I became overwhelmed with emotion and humbled by the outpour of support. 

I know that I flooded social media with many posts, shares, and pictures calling for support for marriage equality, but I never imaigined the huge outpouring of support that would flood my computer screen throughout the day.  I continue to be amazed by the messages, comments, emails, and pictures from my many supportive friends. 

A friend shared this video and again, I was moved to tears as I realized the support for the LGBT community that is being displayed by non-LGBT family and friends.

While the Supreme Court decision (expected sometime in mid-June) may not have an impact on many of them, they still choose to stand behind those of us who will be impacted the most.  We are a nation on the verge of true equality, as expected by our forefathers.  We are one split second away from seeing dreams turn to realities for the LGBT community as a whole nation, not just through individual states. 

I stand with my LGBT family as our "straight" family and friends stand beside us to witness history in the making.  I am proud that my real friends will be on the right side of history when the time comes and all is finally decided.  It may come as early as June 2013 and it may come years from now, but it is coming and we will all share equal rights under the law when all is said and done.

LOVES