This is a blog about my life as an Out and About Gay man. It chronicles the ups and downs of my life and discusses those who are a part of all that I AM. Please feel free to become a follower of the blog to see each update as they are published. Also, please comment and give feedback. I am constantly writing and looking for new topics to touch on from MY WORLD. Let me know your thoughts and ideas
This was written for my true love, Rick. I try every day to prove just how much he means to me. He is an amazing man, friend, partner, and dream come true.
Originally Published on my Facebook notes June 9, 2012. New material added at end and pictures throughout.
What does PRIDE mean to me? PRIDE Stands for PEOPLE RECOGNIZING INDIVIDUAL DIVERSITY and EQUALITY.
To me, PRIDE means so much. It means a world where being who you are is not scoffed at, mocked, or hated. It means being able to hold his hand and walk with my head hel high without fear of condemnation. It is a time to escape the world of closed-minded ignorant bigots, and just celebrate who I am.
PRIDE means different things to each of us, but to me it means BEING ME!
Let's break it down, shall we?
PEOPLE - Human kind, all human kind, no separation by race, creed, religion, or sexual orientation, just PEOPLE
RECOGNIZING - Taking notice and giving validity to the existence of
INDIVIDUAL - Each single person who exists
DIVERSITY - the differences between the recognized individuals
EQUALITY - being treated the SAME as everyone else, something we all wish to acheive
As I find myself estranged from my family because of their misguidence by a bigoted in-law, I hold my head up high, knowing that those who matter most in my life love me for me and always will. To my loving partner, my wonderful children, my understanding ex-wife, my best friends, and my family who have not abandoned me, I SAY THANK YOU for allowing me to be ME and accepting all that comes with who I AM.
As I prepare to attend the Circle City PRIDE Parade and Festival, I prepare to celebrate who I am and recognize everyone for their Individuality while noting their differences and searching for equlaity for all PEOPLE!!
Addendum June 7, 2015
This year my partner and I will attend the Circle City PRIDE Parade and Festival with my 15 year old twin sons for the first time. I love that we will be able to share this even with these two loving, compassionate, supportive young men. They are true examples of acceptance, as they see all human beings for who they are and not what the world might have them see. We will share the time during this event with these two young men and some of our closest friends to show PRIDE in our individuality and our happiness to be who we are.
Governor Pence and the Indiana Legislature are hopeful that House Joint Resolution 6 will make it through 2013 and be on the November ballot in 2014. This "resolution", known as the Indiana Marriage Discrimination Amendment, will have major implications to Indiana's citizens. This amendment will not only affect the same sex couples who have committed themselves to one another, it will also have major implications on their children. Just as same sex couples are seeing great strides across the country when it comes to equality for all, Indiana is growing ever closer to earning the reputation of the backwoods brother in the fight for equal rights for all citizens.
First, let's take a look at HJR6, what it says, and how it will negatively affect Indian's LGBT community. It has already passed through the House and Senate, and is on track to become the first time in Indiana’s history when our constitution is amended to take away rights rather than to grant them. The exact wording of the resolution is, "Only a marriage between one (1) man and one (1) woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in Indiana. A legal status identical or substantially similar to that of marriage for unmarried individuals shall not be valid or recognized."
Once passing through the Indiana House and Senate again in 2013, this Amendment would have a dramatic effect on gay and lesbian relationships in the state by potentially...
Preventing any future attempts to allow for same-sex marriage
Eliminating health care benefits for same-sex partnerships
Eliminating legally binding documents for same-sex couples that are “substantially similar to marriage” such as wills and trusts
Eliminating inheritance laws from being applied to same-sex couples
Eliminating hospital visitation rights
It will also have negative financial implications on the state's economy by potentially...
Deterring major companies from breaking ground in the state
Causing current businesses to relocate to equality supportive states
Forcing LGBT citizens to relocate to these same equality supportive states.
This amendment will ruin lives, destroy families, cause economic crisis, and set the Hoosier state back hundreds of years.
After the SCOTUS rulings on DOMA and Prop 8,
Indiana House Speaker Brian C. Bosma (R-Indianapolis) issued the following statement in response:
“I am disappointed the federal Defense of Marriage Act has been overturned. I am certainly pleased the Supreme Court has confirmed each state’s right to address the legal issue of what constitutes one of the most important institutions in our society.
“The members of the General Assembly will be fully equipped to address the issue of the constitutional amendment in the coming legislative session, and with today’s decision, I am confident the matter will come before the General Assembly and ultimately be placed on a referenda ballot for voter consideration. As they have in 30 other states, Hoosiers should have the right to speak on this issue.”
This is why we must be involved and active in making sure our government understands fully the repercussions of their actions. This is not about same sex marriage. This is about equality and equal treatment for ALL families in our state and across the nation. It is time for those on the wrong side of history to step aside and let history take its rightful course. We must stand up, all of us in the LGBT community and our heterosexual supporters. We must push this issue to its destined end, and see that it never makes it to the 2014 ballot. If, in the worst case sceario, it does make it to that phase, we must advocate againt its passage.
Check out the Nix 6 Grassroots movement at https://www.facebook.com/Nix6March and join the fight against HJR6 and stand on the right side of history as we strike down this potential amendment and the negativity it would rain on our LGBT friends and neighbors.
"We hold these truths to be self-evident that ALL men are created equal." It is time for ALL citizens to be treated with the same rights, equal protections, and desired happiness of life. Please do not sit back and think that someone else will take care of making sure this happens for Hoosiers. You have to be that "someone else" and make your position known as you stand on the side of history that will afford all of these equalities for Indiana's LGBT citizens. We all have the right to equal protections and equal treatments. Let's ALL stand up and see that Indiana moves to the RIGHT side of History.
The videos below are two songs that emphasize the importance of equality and the dreams for Equality shared by the LGBT community, their families, friends, and loved ones.
Yes, I am extremely happy to be standing on the right side of history today, but forgive me if my celebration is short lived. While I am happy for my LGBT community and brothers and sisters in states that have passed marriage equality laws, I happen to reside in Indiana. Indiana, where on the very day of SCOTUS rulings striking down DOMA and throwing out California's Prop 8, Governor Mike Pence released a statement praising SCOTUS. He did not praise them for their votes "for" equality, but for their decision to uphold individial states' rights to determine their own course on the "issue" of marriage equality.
Governor Pence issued the following statement with regard to the United States
Supreme Court decisions in U.S. v. Windsor and Hollingsworth v. Perry.
“I believe marriage is the union between a man and a woman and is a unique institution worth defending in our state and nation. For thousands of years, marriage has served as the glue that holds families and societies together and so it should ever be.
While I am disappointed that the Supreme Court has overturned the federal Defense of Marriage Act, I am grateful that today's decisions respect the sovereignty of states on this important issue. These decisions preserve the duty and obligation of the states to define and administer marriage as they see fit.
Now that the Supreme Court has had its say on the federal government’s role in defining marriage, the people of Indiana should have their say about how marriage is understood and defined in our state.
Given that opportunity, I am confident that Hoosiers will reaffirm our commitment to traditional marriage and will consider this important question with civility and respect for the values and dignity of all of the people of our state.
I look forward to supporting efforts by members of the Indiana General Assembly to place a constitutional amendment on the ballot for voter consideration next year.”
He is "confident" that Hoosiers will "reaffirm our commitment to traditional marriage and will consider this important question with civility and respect for the values of all of the poeple of our state"? Really, how can you consider such an issue with "civility" and "respect" "of all the poeple of our our state" when this type of action will have a direct negative effect on a portion of "all the people of our state"? OUR STATE Mr. Governor. Remember it is not just your state, sir.I am a HOOSIER, born and raised, and I am GAY! This dies not make me any less a citizen of this state. I, and my LGBT brothers and sisters, deserve equal rights as provided by the United States Constitution! It is time! I plan to continue to stand with my partner and work to see that the equality supported by the Supreme Court of the United States exists for every citizen in every state.
I stand on the side of history that supports equal rights for ALL, not just the few and priviledged. I stand on the side of history that supports LOVE and the right for all Americans to love a person, not a gender. When you stand up for your rights because you are proud of who you are and you find love that you want to share "til death do you part", then you should be able to exercise the right to enter into marraige as you wish. No government entity should be able to stifle the rights of any group based on the "religious" beliefs of the individual members who make up that entity. Elected officials have a right to their constituency, but they also have a responsibity to uphold legal constitutional rights and the equal treatment of all under any laws they should enact. I am proud to stand on the "right side" of history today, I just hope that I continue to stand on this side while residing in my home state in the future.
PLEASE, if you have any leaning toward making a statement on this issue, do it. Contact legislators, write letters, sign petitions, make your voice heard, and show where you stand. History is continuing to be made daily, what side will you be on when your time is through. For my family, my friends, and my fellow Hoosiers I will continue to stand for equality and love for ALL!
On this eve of the final day of the SCOTUS (Supreme Court Of The United States) session, I am filled with cautious optimism and anxiety. Not because I expect any wide sweeping rulings on behalf of equality, but because any step toward equality through rulings on these two cases is a positive step for equality for all. California's Prop 8 and U.S. DOMA are both landmark cases for even being heard by the justices. Now we await the 9 opinions that (at this time) matter most.
The justices of the court will rule based on their "interpretations" of the US Constitution and the constitutionality of the cases before them. The LGBT community knows what we hope to see from the justices, and we might even have a pretty accurate prediction of what the outcome will be. However; to say our fate lies in the hands of these 9 justices, is not accurate. It fate lies in the determination we have as a community to stand up for one another and continue to push the envelope until equality is something text books define as the "equal treatment of ALL citizens despite any difference in creed, race, religion, or orientation.
12 year old son shared on his Instagram
As we await the "rulings" from SCOTUS, let us join together all LGBT allies, and pledged to continue to stand for equality for all. Many in the LGBT community have asked continually for supporters to "turn it red" by changing social media profile pictures and posting photos of support. That is a great way to show support and "unity", but where are our "straight allies"? Where do they stand in this historical time in history? Unity means that we stand together with our lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and straight brothers and sisters. We can be the change we want to see in the world, if we stand TOGETHER to make the change happen.
No, tomorrow may not be the outcome we hope for, but this battle has changed public opinion and increased support for equality for all. We must not celebrate too much or cry to loudly once the rulings are handed down tomorrow morning. We must instead continue to rise up and rise above. We must continue to be who we are, love who we choose, and be faithful to the cause of equality for everyone, not just our LGBT community, our particular race, or our chosen religion. We must stand on the right side of history when the final tide turns and we are all determined to be equal, not only in vision, but also through law!
Let me start by saying how amazingly blessed I feel to have such amazingly supportive and accepting friends and family. I have become an activist of sorts over the past few years, but those who know me know that I advocate for PUBLIC education in most of my "spare" time. Occaisionally, I share an LGPT rights post or an equality support post. Well, today has been a different day. With the Supreme Court of the United States hearing oral arguments on two key cases this week, it became real to me that equality is not only "on trial", but that it is also gaining support.
What is equality? It is something different to everyone, but it should mean equal treatment for everyone. Today, equality means equal rights and protection under the law. With the Supreme Court taking up the cases of Proposition 8 and DOMA, it has become apparent that equality for all could be one step closer or it could be set back for a bit longer. Equality is coming! It is just a matter of time before all Americans will be able to marry the person they love despite gender, race, creed, or religion. The US Supreme Court could decide this summer to declare laws descriminating based on gender to be unconstitutional.
As the Supreme Court prepared to hear oral arguments today and tomorrow, supporters of marriage equality began to turn social media pages RED for equality. As I changed my "profile" picture to the newly reddened equality symbol, I witnessed something amazing. As friends, family, and friends of friends started to change their own "profile" and "cover" photos, tears began to stream down my face. Recognizing the amount of support and acceptance from my "small town" friends, I became overwhelmed with emotion and humbled by the outpour of support.
I know that I flooded social media with many posts, shares, and pictures calling for support for marriage equality, but I never imaigined the huge outpouring of support that would flood my computer screen throughout the day. I continue to be amazed by the messages, comments, emails, and pictures from my many supportive friends.
A friend shared this video and again, I was moved to tears as I realized the support for the LGBT community that is being displayed by non-LGBT family and friends.
While the Supreme Court decision (expected sometime in mid-June) may not have an impact on many of them, they still choose to stand behind those of us who will be impacted the most. We are a nation on the verge of true equality, as expected by our forefathers. We are one split second away from seeing dreams turn to realities for the LGBT community as a whole nation, not just through individual states.
I stand with my LGBT family as our "straight" family and friends stand beside us to witness history in the making. I am proud that my real friends will be on the right side of history when the time comes and all is finally decided. It may come as early as June 2013 and it may come years from now, but it is coming and we will all share equal rights under the law when all is said and done.
