IT IS TIME!

It Is Time!

It is time to clarify, explain, initiate, and motivate.  This election cycle has brought about hate, fear, violence, volatility, racism, discrimination, uncertainty, and disrespect.  This is not different than most elections, except this one has brought about an inferred permission to degrade and belittle.  Name calling, protests, marches, and violence have been evident on all sides of this monumental event.  From celebratory gloating and fear filled protests to political divides and angry marches this has become an insane reality we are now living in.  I have stayed out of much conversation on social media in the days since the election, other than my post displaying the hate that was directed at my family.  Today, after reading rants from both sides, overhearing conversations at breakfast, and seeing uncertainty from all corners I have decided to write.  It is time for my friends, family, colleagues, and fellow Americans to stop and think for a moment and prepare to move forward into the new day.

First, I wish to CLARIFY a few things.  Yes, I am angered at the outcome of this election.  Yes, I am fearful of what this new day brings.  However, I have hope that those who truly care about the "bigger picture" will ride up and lead us out of the uncertainty and the challenges that lie ahead.  Have I "unfriended" people from social media during this election cycle?  Most definitely, I have.  These were not due to the election outcome or the person being supported.  No, I have deleted acquaintances, "friends", and even family not for their stance on the election, but for the shear ignorance in their manner of approach and presentation of their support and/or celebration.  I have also deleted some from the same side as myself for the similar ways in which they have chosen to "protest".

Next, let me, in simplest terms, EXPLAIN my feelings of anger and fear.  It has taken me a few days to understand these feelings myself.  At first I felt anger toward those who voted against my opinions and beliefs and feared that the outcome of a Trump presidency would destroy a life I have worked hard to build and maintain as a gay man.  Today, I understand my anger comes from reading and listening to ignorance.  Those who spout and spew hate in the light of this election because that is what is truly in their hearts.  My anger is based in my lack of ability to tolerate and accept this type of rhetoric from anyone.  Hate based through ignorance is a dangerous form of hate.  This type of hate leads to unrest and destruction.  That is where my anger comes from.  I am angry at the ignorance on all sides who use their ignorance as a vehicle of discrimination and destruction.  Once I realized the root of my anger, I began to understand my fear more easily.  I'm not afraid that the government is going to take away my rights to live my life.  I'm not afraid that gay marriage will suffer a set back, although it may for a brief period.  No, my fear isn't in those who have been elected.  My fear comes from the same source as my anger.  I fear the ignorance that is running rampant in the days since the votes, most of them, have been tabulated and a "winner" declared.  I fear that those who practice hate, discrimination, and racism will use this election and a means of approval for their actions.  I fear that the recent note in our home mailbox (which has been reported to the FBI and is under investigation) is only the beginning of an intensified hate toward the LGBT community and other "non-white" minorities.  As an educator, I fear the uneasy feelings of the children in my classroom, because they are frightened by the discrimination and violence in the media.  Yes, these are the fears I have.  So when you post your elitist dominant white "questions" on social media asking what we fear.  Think about what you fear losing most and how people may ignorantly blame you for being out of the societal "norm".  Think about any fears you may have if you were a minority member of society in our nation.

Click to view note in mailbox.

I have decided that the anger and fear that have begun to surge need to act to INITIATE change.  We all need to be the change we expect, without inciting violence and resorting to destruction.  We need to come together and support with pride and optimism whatever lies ahead.  We must take our anger and fear and redirect them into the positives we desire to see from out nation.  We must stop accusing our friends, family, and neighbors of voting one way or another to bring us down.  We must recognize the differences in opinion and fight together against ignorance and intolerance to build one another up instead of tearing one another down.  It is ignorance that all sides need to defeat.  We need to educate and arm one another with knowledge and compassion instead of directing anger and hate toward our fellow Americans.

It is time to MOTIVATE ourselves as individuals in order to begin to motivate the masses toward a peaceful and compassionate coexistence in our nation.  We ,just rise up from the ashes of anger and overcome the burdens of fear to initiate a change and motivate our brothers and sisters to rid our land of ignorance and show compassion and understanding through knowledge and peaceful end education.  We must redirect our angers, hostilities, fears, and intolerance into a peaceful and understanding means of what it truly is to be American.  We must love one another and respect our differences in order to embrace our similarities and reach a common ground.  We should all turn our fears and anger into change and hope for the future.

LOVES, Phil

PRIDE

Originally Published on my Facebook notes June 9, 2012.  New material added at end and pictures throughout.

What does PRIDE mean to me?  PRIDE Stands for PEOPLE RECOGNIZING INDIVIDUAL DIVERSITY and EQUALITY.

To me, PRIDE means so much.  It means a world where being who you are is not scoffed at, mocked, or hated.  It means being able to hold his hand and walk with my head hel high without fear of condemnation.  It is a time to escape the world of closed-minded ignorant bigots, and just celebrate who I am.

PRIDE means different things to each of us, but to me it means BEING ME!

Let's break it down, shall we?
PEOPLE - Human kind, all human kind, no separation by race, creed, religion, or sexual orientation, just PEOPLE
RECOGNIZING - Taking notice and giving validity to the existence of
INDIVIDUAL - Each single person who exists
DIVERSITY - the differences between the recognized individuals
EQUALITY - being treated the SAME as everyone else, something we all wish to acheive

As I find myself estranged from my family because of their misguidence by a bigoted in-law, I hold my head up high, knowing that those who matter most in my life love me for me and always will.  To my loving partner, my wonderful children, my understanding ex-wife, my best friends, and my family who have not abandoned me, I SAY THANK YOU for allowing me to be ME and accepting all that comes with who I AM.

As I prepare to attend the Circle City PRIDE Parade and Festival, I prepare to celebrate who I am and recognize everyone for their Individuality while noting their differences and searching for equlaity for all PEOPLE!!

Addendum June 7, 2015

This year my partner and I will attend the Circle City PRIDE Parade and Festival with my 15 year old twin sons for the first time. I love that we will be able to share this even with these two loving, compassionate, supportive young men.  They are true examples of acceptance, as they see all human beings for who they are and not what the world might have them see.  We will share the time during this event with these two young men and some of our closest friends to show PRIDE in our individuality and our happiness to be who we are.

SCOTUS EVE

On this eve of the final day of the SCOTUS (Supreme Court Of The United States) session, I am filled with cautious optimism and anxiety.  Not because I expect any wide sweeping rulings on behalf of equality, but because any step toward equality through rulings on these two cases is a positive step for equality for all.  California's Prop 8 and U.S. DOMA are both landmark cases for even being heard by the justices.  Now we await the 9 opinions that (at this time) matter most.  

The justices of the court will rule based on their "interpretations" of the US Constitution and the constitutionality of the cases before them.  The LGBT community knows what we hope to see from the justices, and we might even have a pretty accurate prediction of what the outcome will be.  However; to say our fate lies in the hands of these 9 justices, is not accurate.  It fate lies in the determination we have as a community to stand up for one another and continue to push the envelope until equality is something text books define as the "equal treatment of ALL citizens despite any difference in creed, race, religion, or orientation.  



 12 year old son shared on his Instagram 

 

As we await the "rulings" from SCOTUS, let us join together all LGBT allies, and pledged to continue to stand for equality for all.  Many in the LGBT community have asked continually for supporters to "turn it red" by changing social media profile pictures and posting photos of support.  That is a great way to show support and "unity", but where are our "straight allies"?  Where do they stand in this historical time in history?  Unity means that we stand together with our lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and straight brothers and sisters.  We can be the change we want to see in the world, if we stand TOGETHER to make the change happen.



No, tomorrow may not be the outcome we hope for, but this battle has changed public opinion and increased support for equality for all.  We must not celebrate too much or cry to loudly once the rulings are handed down tomorrow morning. We must instead continue to rise up and rise above.  We must continue to be who we are, love who we choose, and be faithful to the cause of equality for everyone, not just our LGBT community, our particular race, or our chosen religion.  We must stand on the right side of history when the final tide turns and we are all determined to be equal, not only in vision, but also through law! 


"And a certificate on paper

Isn't gonna solve it all

But it's a damn good place to start

No law's gonna change us

We have to change us

Whatever god you believe in

We come from the same one

Strip away the fear

Underneath it's all the same love

About time that we raised up"

from MACKLEMORE & RYAN LEWIS - SAME LOVE 

SAME LOVE VIDEO

WHAT IS EQUALITY?

Let me start by saying how amazingly blessed I feel to have such amazingly supportive and accepting friends and family.  I have become an activist of sorts over the past few years, but those who know me know that I advocate for PUBLIC education in most of my "spare" time.  Occaisionally, I share an LGPT rights post or an equality support post.  Well, today has been a different day.  With the Supreme Court of the United States hearing oral arguments on two key cases this week, it became real to me that equality is not only "on trial", but that it is also gaining support. 

What is equality?  It is something different to everyone, but it should mean equal treatment for everyone.  Today, equality means equal rights and protection under the law.  With the Supreme Court taking up the cases of Proposition 8 and DOMA, it has become apparent that equality for all could be one step closer or it could be set back for a bit longer.  Equality is coming! It is just a matter of time before all Americans will be able to marry the person they love despite gender, race, creed, or religion.  The US Supreme Court could decide this summer to declare laws descriminating based on gender to be unconstitutional. 

As the Supreme Court prepared to hear oral arguments today and tomorrow, supporters of marriage equality began to turn social media pages RED for equality.  As I changed my "profile" picture to the newly reddened equality symbol, I witnessed something amazing.  As friends, family, and friends of friends started to change their own "profile" and "cover" photos, tears began to stream down my face.  Recognizing the amount of support and acceptance from my "small town" friends, I became overwhelmed with emotion and humbled by the outpour of support. 

I know that I flooded social media with many posts, shares, and pictures calling for support for marriage equality, but I never imaigined the huge outpouring of support that would flood my computer screen throughout the day.  I continue to be amazed by the messages, comments, emails, and pictures from my many supportive friends. 

A friend shared this video and again, I was moved to tears as I realized the support for the LGBT community that is being displayed by non-LGBT family and friends.

While the Supreme Court decision (expected sometime in mid-June) may not have an impact on many of them, they still choose to stand behind those of us who will be impacted the most.  We are a nation on the verge of true equality, as expected by our forefathers.  We are one split second away from seeing dreams turn to realities for the LGBT community as a whole nation, not just through individual states. 

I stand with my LGBT family as our "straight" family and friends stand beside us to witness history in the making.  I am proud that my real friends will be on the right side of history when the time comes and all is finally decided.  It may come as early as June 2013 and it may come years from now, but it is coming and we will all share equal rights under the law when all is said and done.

LOVES