In order to get to a point where you believe the unbelievable, you must open your mind to things you may never have imagined possible. I had been dating for a while and meeting some great people in my new life. I was not looking for anything “exclusive” or “long term” because I did not believe that was a possibility for me at this point in my life. I then met someone who opened my mind to believe that it is possible to find someone to become a big part of life and to take away the desire to continue dating around. He had become a great friend and, though he was not “the one”, it was through his friendship and support that I have begun to believe the unbelievable.
As I began to believe the unbelievable, I started to dream the impossible. I started dreaming of a time when I would find someone to begin an exclusive and committed relationship that might develop into something long term. As this dream progressed, I continued to look to “date around” and then it happened. In looking to date, I found him. He appeared to come from nowhere and suddenly was in my life. We became inseparable almost immediately, and exclusive from the start. We may not know or even understand how it happened, or even why, but that that seems impossible has proven possible and the dream lives on as we continue to count the time together daily.
Daily, I have come to accept the challenges that life throws at me during this time of adjustment in my life. These include challenges in friendships, maintaining relationships, overcoming stereotypes, dealing with perceptions and misconceptions, and adjusting to the differences between people. I find that there are friends out there who are so supportive that they smile when I smile, laugh when I laugh, and cry when I cry. There are friends who want nothing but the best, and are happy when they see me happy in my decisions and beliefs. I also find there are those who claim to be friends who only smile when they have received some “reward” from the relationship. Those relationships are the hardest to maintain, because they are the ones you want out of your life so they no longer hold you back. As I work to build friendships and maintain relationships, I find I must overcome the stereotypes attributed to being a forty-year-old gay man. This makes these friendships and relationships difficult in itself, not to mention when you add the perceptions, misconceptions, and differences to the mix. People are not always accepting of older people being friends with younger people, and when that transfers into the gay society, it becomes even more difficult. I have many “younger” friends, both gay and straight, and it is sometimes difficult to stomach the way society treats these relationships.
In looking over these aspects of my life, and the relationships I am developing, the one thing that holds all else together it that I have chosen to live the life of love. I love my friends and everything about them. Even if I do not agree with something a friend may say or do, I still love them because they are a part of my life and I love everyone whom I am lucky enough to call friend. Living the life of love also brings me to my current relationship status. In the era of online “social networks”, we are all aware of the status of friends. I am no different. I post my status daily, and have recently been able to change my relationship status to say that I am in a relationship. The catch there, is that I do not name my “boyfriend” or even make the connection to him on the network. This is because there are some things in life that must remain private for one reason or another. He knows who he is, he knows how much I care about him, and I know the same in return. One reason for such privacy is the difference in our ages, and the unwillingness of society to embrace our relationship. Another reason is that, no matter how open I am about my life, living the life of love requires respect for ones partner and their privacy. Someday, you will be fortunate enough to meet the man of my dreams, as I have been. When you do, I hope you will be able to look at my smile and know the happiness is real because I have chosen to believe the unbelievable, dream the impossible, accept challenges, and live the life of love.
**Baby I love you with all my heart today and every day. I know you know this, and I know how much you love me. I want to shout it from the highest mountains and hear it echo in the lowest valleys. You have brought so much joy to my life already, and I look forward to all that lies ahead.
